Good News!

{ Tuesday, October 25, 2011 }
So I got some good news today. My boyfriend will be getting a four day leave before he actually goes overseas. He's mobilizing in Mississippi right now and they let him know that he won't actually be going overseas until January. But that pretty much means he'll only be over there for nine months. Less time for me to sit around worrying right? I'm excited. Not really sure when it will be but I'm pretty excited about it. There are certain times like my graduation and Christmas or New Years but either way I'll be happy to have him home for a little while before he's gone.

He's biggest concern: giving me small pox. He had to get the shot and his arm is totally gross right now I guess, but there was some talk about some other guy who was told he couldn't be around his 4 month old daughter after getting the shot to keep her safe from getting it. Pretty messed up I think. I hope I'm going to be okay. haha.

I'm excited and happy right now. Helps to deal with pain of having him gone when you have seeing him again to look forward to.

Wow Here Comes the Stress

{ Saturday, October 22, 2011 }
So it's the second half of the semester...I found out I am for sure graduating in December. Tickets go on sale on the first. It's bittersweet since my boy can't be there. But I'm happy I'm finally done with school. But first...

10 page term paper.

My first draft is due on Tuesday. I have exactly one page written. It has to be at least 6 pages. I happen to pride myself that I do my best work under pressure. But jeez la peez midterms came and went. It completely took me by surprise.

Not to mention. Velle needs tires. $400 of tires. He said he's sending me the money but that has to wait until the first since that's when he gets paid. But guess that doesn't matter at this point because ohhh, his car won't start.

I totally hopped in it to run to the corner store and it won't even click when I turn the key. Since I grew up around cars I know it's one of two things. Dead battery or flooded engine. But when I called him to let him know, he goes "What do you want me to do? I'm 500 miles away."

Okay Smartie McFarty. I understand that. But he trusted me with his car and it's been a week and it's all ready sitting like a bump on a log in parking lot. I just thought he should know. He told me he'd call Unc to see if it needs spark plugs tomorrow. But that's about all he can do right.

I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. Running a household by yourself. Taking care of two cars. Doing homework. And trying to remember to eat once in awhile. I'm kinda glad I don't have kids running around because I'd be losing my mind right now. I have a lot of respect for the spouses/significant others who do have children. Surely makes it rough.

I got everything but the baby on the breast!

Like I said, I do my best work under pressure. So the pile of stuff piling on me is only going to make things a little hard, because I can do it and do it well. On top of that it helps with that whole OPERATION: KEEP BUSY I've had planned.

But still...times like these make me miss my boyfriend. I really could use a hug.

The Beginning of the End.

{ Friday, October 21, 2011 }
Obama annouced today he's bringing home the troops in Iraq.

Check out the link. All you lucky bastards who get to see your significant others early...I'm so happy for you. And extremely jealous.

My boss said to me today "How happy are you, your boyfriend is coming home!!" I nearly did cartwheels in the showroom. "He was going to Iraq right?" Ooooo, back to sad again.

But I'm happy because I know there are families out there that are extremely excited today. That are doing cartwheels at work. That are making the preparations needed to see their soldiers home. And if their lucky enough...have them home way earlier than expected.

I'm also happy because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For whatever reason, I had some idea in my brain that these wars would last forever. That my boyfriend would deploy more than once. And that if I'm lucky to have him home the first time, I don't know how lucky I'll be a second. But now, I can see that our President and our leaders really do care to see them home. And they are making an effort to do their best with what they got, and the situation as a whole. They really want our soldiers safe and I feel a lot more comfortable about my boyfriend going over there now.

I still have a year til I see him next (excluding R&R of course) but at least I can sincerely hope that he'll never have to go back there ever again.

Oh, and another thing. I made it my first week! Eeeehh! Only 51 more to go. (Makes it doesn't seem that long right?)

My Deployment To Do List

{ Friday, October 14, 2011 }
So, he's gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

I put him on that plane, cried the whole way home, curled up in bed, took a big whiff of his smell on his pillow and got up. I've been on the verge of tears since, but I decided to start OPERATION: KEEP BUSY.

That's what I keep hearing. "Keep busy. It'll go by fast." Yea but when you're at Day 0...Day 365 seems like forever away. So I can't help but be negative here and say it's going too slow. Go by fast all ready. But what the hell right? I was all ready planning on keeping busy to keep myself from spending all day dreaming about what he's doing and feeling sorry for myself.

So, tonight Phase 1 of OPERATION: KEEP BUSY went into action. Writing my Deployment To Do list. Here we go.


1) Keeping up with this blog. Therapeutic and a time consumer.

2) Cut my hair. Velle loves it long. I want to cut it so bad. So, I'm doing it while he's gone so he'll never miss it.

My long, red hair.

3) Learn to cook. Cooking books and experimentation here I come!

4) Quit smoking. This one is Velle's goal while he's overseas. So, I'm going to too!

5) Decorate the apartment. We moved here only just in June...I've never gotten around to it.

6) Excercise everyday. I'm going to need to with all the cooking I'll be doing!

7) Graduate college and get a job. This is on my life list, period.

8) Get a tattoo. I've been dying to do this since I turned 18, just haven't had the balls...

9) Take a trip to Canada. I have family up there I haven't seen in ages.

10) Take a trip somewhere alone. I've never gone anywhere alone.

11) Spa Day! I got a gift certificate last Christmas and I have yet to use it.

12) Read 20 classic books I haven't read. I started Oliver Twist ages ago...I just didn't get past page 10.

13) See 20 movies in theaters. This might be another alone thing too. I've never done that either...

14) See as many plays and musicals as possible. Velle hates them. My mom loves them.

How can you hate this???

15) Go out with friends I haven't seen/talked to in awhile.

16) Save 1000 dollars before his return.

17) Send as many care packages as possible. Possibly some samples from my new cooking skills??

18) Learn the art of extreme couponing. You have no idea how long I've wanted to be able to do that.

19) Make a scrapbook. I've always wanted to do this. I just don't know what the theme will be yet.

20) Have fun.

That last one is super important.

The last thing he said to me before he walked away was "Remember to have fun." I know he's worried about me...that I'll sit around the whole year just waiting for him to walk through the front door. Because, I am a home-body. When faced with the crushing dilemma of going to a bar or staying home and watching a movie, home always wins. And I know he's worried I'll be sad the whole time. I'm worried about this too.

But he told me to have fun. Gotta follow orders right?

Control Freak

{ }
Velle's plane was supposed to leave this morning for Mississippi, however it got cancelled. So now he's actually leaving at 5 pm. He's at his best friend's house right now...he never told him he was going since we found out the other day.  His plan was to call him, but now he can tell him in person. (Their relationship is soo unnatural, but that's another story.)

JD & Turk = My Boyfriend & his Best Friend

I think, for me, the worst part about all of this is a loss of control. I'm a total control freak.

When I say control freak, I mean FREAK. Anything that goes on in my life that I don't enjoy the slightest bit, I lose it. I turn everything around a million times trying to find a way to fix it the way I would like it.  For example, I work as a receptionist. I work until 3 pm and then there's a girl who comes in at night. She loves to re-organize things and she is always moving things around on my desk. I hate this. It drives me crazy. I have things a certain way on my desk because that's the way I like it. I will literally spend 20 minutes in the morning moving everything back to where it was, even if I know that I'm going to use those things and can move them back when I'm done with them. I just can't sit down until it's right.

Now, this may sound a little obsessive-compulsive. Which I guess I have a little of that too. But this is mild. Velle and I have gotten into numerous fights over things like him not doing things exactly the way I want it done. Driving a different route somewhere then I think is the way we should go. Putting on shorts when I think he should wear pants. It drives him nuts and that's where the fights start, but he loves me.

And it says a lot about how much he loves me for putting up with it.

Love my boy. Always.

So, deployment is a total loss of control for me. He is going to be half way around the world and I can't do a thing about it. I can't be there for him, and I can't protect him. (Not that he needs protecting, I just like taking care of him.) I can't control when he'll call me or email me. I can't control what will happen to him. I can't control where he's going or what he'll be doing.

That's the Army's job.

I guess that's the hardest thing for me to deal with right now.

That and how much I'm going to miss him.

Spoke Too Soon

{ Tuesday, October 11, 2011 }
Well, he's officially leaving in a few days.

Army Wives...It's so sad when they leave...

Knew this would happen that I would finally think "he's not going" anddd he'd get the call to get his stuff ready.

Can't we go back to the other day when he wasn't going anymore? Guess that's the life of an army girlfriend right?

You never know what's going to happen. Ever.

Stressed Out

{ }
So, yea Velle hasn't left. He could leave at any moment though so I'm not completely relieved.I'm here for all those lovely ladies I've spoken to who are totally missing their guys right now!!

Basically, he's not working right now. His orders on base were cancelled and no civillian he's been sitting around, playing video games and sleeping until 3 in the afternoon.  We're struggling a little bit on my tiny one paycheck right now. Completely sucksss.

So, I'm supposed to graduate in December...which I've been working really hard trying to find a job that pays at least twice what I'm getting paid now. And the school decided to call and tell me I'm one credit short. ONE CREDIT. Are you kidding? It's some Ged Ed Requirement I'm one credit short in...I have way more credits that I need to graduate overall. I had to appeal it and I'm just waiting to hear back. Since, you know yesterday they were closed and stuff.

Argh. Work, school, bills, everything. Just piling up. I need a serious vacation.